Three Words
by Dornenfluegel
Summary: Mark wants to hear three words from Derek, ever since their promnight. But he is sure he never will.Marks POV


Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine; I am making no profit. 

A/N: This story was originally written for Grey's Exchange on LJ. Hope you enjoy it. Comments love .

Three Words 

Rain poured down as if heaven wanted to drop the water amount of a year in only one hour. Big, heavy droplets made their way down just to shatter on several umbrellas, raincoats and heads of people who weren't fast enough to run for shelter.

Surprisingly he had made it home just in time to escape the rain of doom, noticing it with a fierce smile, while he was standing in his bedroom, starring into the blue dawn that had begun to rise.

It had been hell of a day once more. Now he let himself fall on his bed and laid there motionless for about an hour, until the hunger was mightier than the numbness of his feet and he got on them, just to stumble to the phone in the living room, order a pizza and fall on the couch.

Until the pinging of his doorbell told him that his pizza had arrived and he had to get on his feet once more. Happily he seized the food, paid for it and took it back to the living room, settling his tired body on to the couch.

He zapped through hundreds of channels without finding anything that would help him to forget about his day. Not even the porno channel could stop him from thinking of what he had done.

He had lied.

Okay, it's not like he is a saint and that he never lied – but today he had lied about one of the most important parts of his life... to one of the most important people in his life.

It just wasn't true, that he had come to Seattle because he wanted Addison back. Addison was just… one of his lousiest tries to gain another one back.

He chewed his pizza, without even noticing he was eating and sitting in front of his TV, watching two chicks bitching at each other. Instead he was trying really hard to find another way to get Derek back.

---

Light was shining through the branches of the big old oak tree in the back garden. It was like liquid gold, flowing through green leaves, surrounding him with a small circle of yellowish light. Eyes closed, his head lying against the aged trunk arms and legs spread besides his body. A dreamy smile laid on his lips, while he was listening to the humming of the bees and the cries that were wafting across form the house.

He was as relaxed as he hadn't been through the whole last year. Probably it had something to do with the circumstance that he was staying at Derek's place for one week.

He had fled his drunken mother home with the words: "I'm back sometime next month…" Which she had answered with a: "Okay sweetie, take care of yourself." Sure he would do – as he had for the past ten years since his father had left them.

He snorted in disgust – he could still smell the alcohol that was surrounding his mother 24/7, leaving him with no one else than himself to rely on.

But since a couple years he had another family he could rely on: Derek, his four sisters and his mother. He and Derek had met on their first school day and after some weeks of fighting they had become really close friends. Derek's older sisters had loved him from the day on he first met them and his mother seemed to be amazed of his independence. He on the other hand loved to pretend everything was alright – even though it was just for couple hours until he had to return home.

But now he would be able to live in this "perfect" family for about a month - Derek's mother had invited him over and he could hardly say no, couldn't he?

---

Lights were flashing back and forth and some horrible school band played something barely reminding of music. His tie was loosened, tangling around his neck like a black snake. Right in front of him was Derek, dancing with Cindy Carter – the most beautiful girl in the whole school – cheek to cheek.

He hated to look at them but couldn't manage to keep his eyes off either. Not even dancing with his date (Sally Forster something like his girlfriend right now) had helped.

It wasn't that he was jealous – at least that's what he liked to think. But the feeling was growing stronger over the past two weeks, as he had watched the two of them falling in love, growing a couple. Somehow it wasn't astonishing; at least she was really beautiful. His problem was that he wasn't jealous of Derek; he was jealous of Cindy. He hated the way she looked at Derek but even worse were the looks he gave her back because he wanted them to be his in the same time he knew they shall never be.

And now he sat here – all alone in the gym hall of his school on one of the benches which were separating the dance floor form the tables – watching the prom dream pair dancing. If he could he had hit the wall or broken something but because he wouldn't want to ruin the evening for Derek he confined himself to look daggers at Cindy.

---

"Dance with me!" Okay, he _was_ drunk. But that just didn't matter right now. Because he really wanted to dance with Derek and he couldn't see why it would probably be a bad idea to do so. He didn't care if they were both too drunk to even stand without help – not to talk about dancing - and he didn't care if Joe wanted to close the bar or not. He just wanted to dance _now_ with Derek. Because he hadn't had a chance on their prom, it would only be fair if he get his long desired dance right now, right here.

So he held his hand out and – wonder of wonders – the other man took it and dragged himself on his feet just to stand next to Mark. Blushless from alcohol and lack of sleep he didn't wait for Derek to make any further move he just pulled him against his chest, wrapped his arms tightly around the other one's waist and began to sway left and right, not even rudimentally hitting the rhythm.

They had come to Joe's to forget about their broken relationships. Derek because Meredith had broken up once again and he himself because he finally accepted, that this "thing" that was going on between him and Addison was not going to satisfy him even closely and he had to quit.

First they had sat as far away from each other as possible, but as the bar got more and more crowded they had to close ranks 'till they sat right next to each other. It wasn't that Mark would complain about that, the longer he sat there and the drunker he got the more he enjoyed the situation. Especially because Derek – for the first time since they'd met again in Seattle -hadn't jelled at him or had insulted him. Instead he had talked half the evening of Meredith and the other half he had talked about him being chief of surgery.

And now they were leaning against each other, swaying around like some teenagers. He couldn't help himself than laying his head against Derek's and just imagine for one little moment that he could have this for forever, that he was free to kiss the other man whenever he liked to.

Before the little part of his brain that wasn't gone yet could stop him, he stopped "dancing", tilting Derek's head slightly backwards and kiss him – desperately and passionate, with as much skill as he had left.

---

His head felt as if a jackhammer was working inside, his eyes were much too sensible against light and it seemed as if his tongue had changed into something way too fluffy. And he didn't want to think about this disgusting taste in his mouth and his disorientation. Because – really - the sunlight had never before shun right into his face.

For one moment he argued with himself whether he should or should not open his eyes and finally decided to open one. He only slid open a little gap, trying to look around. The first thing he saw was a tuft of black hair, looking out under white sheets. His confusion suddenly doubled, because he couldn't think of any girl he had picked up last night, the only thing he remembered anyway was getting drunk with Derek. The recognition hit him like a slap in the face – this tiny bit of black hair belonged to Derek and he was in his trailer.

Suddenly his eyes opened wide, sitting upright in the same moment, before his head ache reminded him of moving slowly. With an unsure move he got out of bed, just to realize he was completely naked. And, after a glance under the sheets he was sure, that Derek was also naked. He felt his heart racing thousand miles a minute, while he desperately tried to remember what had happened last night.

But because he was unable to do so, he just grabbed his clothes, dressed quickly and as quiet as possible before he left the still sleeping Derek.

---

It had been hell of a week. Half the time he had made detours to avoid either Derek or Addison, the other half he had hard tried to remember what had happened last night.

Until one hour ago that he had found his memory – and wished now he wouldn't have done so.

He still saw the pictures running down in his mind. Lips on lips, skin on skin, pressed against each other, desperately trying to sink into each other.

And then two naked bodies lying next to each other; his own voice, whispering into the darkness that surrounded them "I love you".

He was sitting on a bed in the on call room – hiding from the world – bashing his head softly against the wall then closing his eyes and trying to make it stop. It wasn't until someone opened the door, that he reopened his eyes, to stare right on a tired, kind of crumpled looking Derek.

Mark just closed his eyes again, hoping instantly, that the other one was going away. But instead he heard the door sliding shut and felt shortly after the weight of another body sinking in next to his.

Every muscle in his body strained, as he felt a way too well known hand searching for his own. And he stiffened even more as he heard the other man speaking in a soft voice. "Finally I find you… I tried to speak to you the past few days, but somehow I couldn't find you. Mark – look at me please!" He wanted to shake his head, or just remain as he was, but somehow he couldn't resist Derek's suppliant tone and opened his eyes, to take a short look at the other one.

That seemed enough for Derek to continue: "I… just... I think we should talk this over... Don't you?"

Mark really tried to shake his head, or do anything.

But the only thing he could do is lowering his gaze to his knees, before the words were passing his lips automatically: "The only thing I have to say about it is that I meant it – everything was meant as done or said."

He peeks up at Derek, just to free his hand and then stand, leaving the room with long steps, taking a deep breath as he hears the door closing behind him – leaving a confused Derek behind.

---

Rain poured down as if heaven wanted to drop the water amount of a year in only one hour. Big, heavy droplets made their way down just to shatter on several umbrellas, raincoats and heads of people who weren't fast enough to run for shelter.

Surprisingly he had made it home just in time to escape the rain of doom, noticing it with a fierce smile, while he was standing in his bedroom, starring into the blue dawn that had begun to rise.

It had been hell of a day once more. Now he let himself fall on his bed, next to Derek's sleeping body. It was the second day the other one was staying with him in his room – it was the second day that her official relationship was lasting. After they had finally had a clearing talk – in which he discovered that Derek had been attracted to him as long as he was to Derek - they had met from time to time when both of them needed to loose themselves in another body or wanted to feel the soothing warmth of someone else pressed up against themselves.

But two days ago something had changed.

Because Derek had spoken these words.

It had only been a whisper, next to his ear – he was sure the other man believed he was already asleep, but he hadn't been and the words had changed his notion of this relationship. These words had made it more serious, had showed the time to take another step. And they had taken it -together.

He wasn't sure, if it was going to last, but for now it was okay.

He was sure of it because his day seemed to be a little better only because of the fact that he could snuggle up next to Derek without the fear that the other one could be gone in the morning.


End file.
